The struggles of maintaining intimacy and connection in Singaporean marriages
Malcolm, a Singaporean in his 40s, shares his struggles on Reddit about his marriage, which has been sexless for over a decade. He feels unwanted by his wife, and despite his attempts to reignite the relationship, it has been difficult. His case reflects a larger, often unspoken issue in Singapore—sexless marriages. A 2020 study revealed that many Singaporean women in marriages are having far less sex than they desire, with younger women between 25 and 29 reporting having sex on average just 3.7 times per month, while those in their 30s report even less.
Malcolm’s experience is not unique. Many individuals, like Jonathan, face difficulties with their partners due to a loss of attraction, busy careers, and stress, which often leads to less intimacy. Despite not having sex for years, some, like Chloe, have resigned themselves to celibacy, finding emotional connection and support in other ways.
However, some relationships spiral into emotional distance and resentment, particularly when partners struggle to communicate their needs. The fear of judgment or guilt often prevents individuals from addressing the issue, leading to quiet resignation or, in some cases, infidelity, as seen in Malcolm’s case. For others, the prospect of divorce or separation seems daunting, especially when children are involved.
Despite the challenges, many believe that relationships can survive without sex, focusing on emotional intimacy instead. However, this raises the question: when does the absence of sexual intimacy become too much to bear? And what happens when partners are no longer on the same page about their relationship’s needs?
For many, the fear of judgment and the emotional toll of confronting these issues can keep people stuck in sexless marriages longer than they would like. The longing for connection and intimacy—sexual or otherwise—becomes a central theme, and navigating these desires within the confines of societal expectations remains an ongoing struggle.
